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Daily life of a depressed person 21: Today is a special day

Time:2022-09-26 00:18:53 source:psychiatricethics.com author:Anxiety disorder Read:551次
Daily life of a depressed person 21: Today is a special day

Write romantic stories, but also focus on depression, autism and Asperger's syndrome groups. If you want to know about the depression mutual aid group, you can find me on my official account: watch the water and keep watching. Author: Bai Yueguang
Yes, today is a special day. So, even if you are exhausted, even if your heart is overloaded again, you still have to type this text. When I went to the Moral Lecture in the afternoon, I played the award-winning work "My Dad Can Magic" by the State Grid Storytelling, and suddenly burst into tears. It's been a long time since I didn't know what it felt like to cry. I suddenly thought of you, that you suddenly lost your temper at me one night, and then cried in the quilt: I miss my dad! Yes, I know you miss him. But, child. I can't afford to give him to you. Many people say that I am optimistic and cheerful. However, only you know the desolation and despair in my heart. In order not to let the sensitive you be influenced by me, I forced Lin Daiyu's daily life into an optimist. I think you understand that I love you. However, I love you more than you love me. Do you remember that little essay you wrote?

My mom

My mom has long hair, her forehead is neatly cut, and she wears glasses every day. My mother likes to wear red clothes the most. That day, when my mother wore a red dress and black high heels to take me to school, my roommate told me that my mother is very beautiful. I also think my mother is a beautiful beauty, so sometimes I call my mother "beautiful". At that time, my mother was very happy to hear it and would call me "handsome guy". My mother is very busy at work, and I often accompany her to work overtime. When my mother was working overtime, I would do my homework, but my homework was always bad and I made mistakes. At that time, my mother didn't call me "handsome guy", but called me "little sloppy". Although my mother is very busy at work, she still cares about me very much and likes to take me wherever she goes. I have met many of my mother's colleagues and good friends, and they all like me. One day I told my mother that I hope she will not be so busy and can spend more time with me. My mother promised me very seriously. Since then, no matter how busy she is, she will pick me up from school. My classmates envy me for having a good mother. Sometimes my mother gets mad at me, and that's mostly when I do something wrong. I told my mother that every time she got mad at me, my heart skipped a beat. My mother apologized to me and said that she would never lose her temper again. If she wanted to lose her temper again, she would endure it . In order not to be angry with my mother, I will try my best not to do anything wrong. I love my mother very much. I hope she will always be as young and beautiful as she is now. Although it has been a long time, I seem to have stopped wearing the strong red overnight, and my life has returned to pure white. Only with a white shirt and black trousers, and long hair hanging down my shoulders, can I feel that I am myself. Do you still love me like this?

This is what I wrote in the first printed article I wrote for you:

That year in Beijing, when the doctor wrote "suspected Asperger" in your medical record book I can't describe how uneasy I feel. The withdrawn term "Asperger's Syndrome" instantly blanked my mind. In the noisy corridor of the hospital, I found a corner and "Baidu" this entry on my mobile phone: Asperger's syndrome has the same social impairment as autism, and is classified as autism spectrum disorder or autism. Pervasive developmental disorder, but different from autism, differs from autism in that there is no obvious language and intellectual disability. In fact, before this, I have checked the category of your symptoms through other hospitals and the Internet countless times. In the sixth hospital of Peking University, the elderly expert told me that your child is autistic, but his ability is slightly stronger. Stubborn I have been reluctant to accept this diagnosis because your symptoms are so different from those of autism. Finally, I found the most authoritative expert in child psychology, and got this answer that I think can explain the problem you are facing. The doctor told me that 1 in 150 people are diagnosed with this condition. Sometimes, "Asperger's Syndrome" is equivalent to a certain professional genius. For example, an older brother in Shenzhen can recite all the entries in the "Oxford Dictionary" when he was in kindergarten; for example , Einstein, is also said to fall under the category of "Asperger's Syndrome". In 2009, three films about Asperger's syndrome came out in a row, and society's attention to this "mysterious disease" is heating up. However, to date, no drugs have directly treated the core symptoms of Asperger's syndrome. Your diagnosis was not a disaster for me. You are my baby, I know what kind of child you are, and I believe that I can accompany you to see the wider world and go further into the future, until you find your own way. The real disaster is the drastic change in life that has taken place in the past three years. One night in heaven, one night in hell. In order not to affect you, in order to create a warm home for you, I tried my best, exhausted my efforts, but never regretted it. In you, I see many shadows of myself, and all my greed, hatred, and delusion are in your eyes. Because of your gaze, I am constantly correcting myself and improving myself. I continue to work hard to love the world, and use my little power to help those who are in the dark. Not only because I understand the despair and coldness, but also because of my selfish expectation that one day, you will also be lovingly loved by this world. Little children. I love this world with my heart that loves you, and I hope that the world will no longer be indifferent.
That night, you accompanied me home after working overtime. There were very few cars on the road, and only the street lamps stood alone by the roadside. The song "Holding Hands" is sung on the radio: because I love your love, because I dream of your dreams, I am saddened by your sorrow and happy with your happiness. A few days later, on a similar night after working overtime, you were in my passenger seat, and you actually sang softly: so holding hands, we will walk together in the next life, so there is no time to look back on the road with companionship ... Baby, how can I not believe that you must be an angel given to me by God. I am willing to hold your hand like this, to find that beautiful world. In your forever baby blue eyes, there must be an angel's paradise, and now because of you, I am also infected with the breath of an angel.
And today, today is your birthday. You said to me, don't worry, I will study hard when I grow up, go to university, and then you accompany me to study. You said, we should go to Suzhou during the Spring Festival. I like Pingjiang Road very much. You said... There is still a long, long way to go in the future, and we have to walk together. I don't know what the future will be like. Today, when the moral lecture hall shared, "The heaven will give great responsibilities to the people, and they must first work hard, work their muscles, and starve their bodies and skin...", I suddenly thought, baby, we are groping for the pain of those stumbles all the way. , Is it for us to grow better together? I don't care what kind of painful past I have, nor how many hardships and twists I have to go through. I just hope that you can find yourself and have the future you want. Let us be humble and welcome the slow stream of the future together. Happy birthday my baby.

(责任编辑:Relax)

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