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Xuzhou Fear: What were you afraid of before marriage?

Time:2023-04-01 12:40:56 source:psychiatricethics.com author:Anxiety disorder Read:996次
Xuzhou Fear: What were you afraid of before marriage?

Xuzhou Mental Health Service Station: People who are infected with fear of marriage will have fear of marriage in the future. Typically, the "symptoms" are irritability, short temper, and anger. Some people will be reticent and unwilling to speak more, which will affect their work and life. What were you afraid of before marriage? Let us prescribe the right medicine and see the following: 1. Worry about "marriage is the grave of love" Reason for fear: Everyone says "marriage is the grave of love". Even if love is beautiful, there will be no passion and sweetness in marriage, only endless trivialities and troubles. If you don't get married, you won't have so much trouble. You can enjoy life and love...Solution: To get rid of premarital phobia, first get rid of the fantasy of married life, don't have high expectations and extravagant expectations, don't think that your lover is all right and perfect. Honeymoon is really sweeter than honey. We must clearly realize that the birth of a new family means a heavier burden, and it means that both of us must do our best to fulfill our responsibilities for the family and the responsibility of husband and wife. It should be noted that the sweetness of the honeymoon is won by being willing to endure hardship for the lover. It is mutual dedication and co-creation. Before marriage, lovers are required to have the determination to be willing to endure hardships for their lover and later small family, and to be tolerant and understanding of their lover's shortcomings. 2. Arranged marriages. I don't know enough about my future husband. Reason for fear: He and I were introduced by relatives. Since we worked in two cities, we only met three times in half a year. The family said that we are already old and urged us to get married on May 1st this year. But I still don't know him, don't know his living habits, don't know his circle of friends, or even know whether he is single-minded. I don't know if I've ever had a girlfriend. Really helpless. Every time I think about it, my head hurts. I really don't want to get married...Solution: Both men and women need to constantly strengthen mutual understanding and deepen their feelings. This is the most important psychological preparation before marriage. If this preparation is not sufficient, no matter how complete other preparations are, it cannot guarantee the happiness of married life. Even with all the material preparations before marriage, it is difficult to make up for the psychological damage and maintain the sincere love between husband and wife. It is recommended that you learn more about marriage before considering marriage, or have a long talk before marriage, and learn as much as possible about the other party, which may eliminate your fear of future marriage. 3. Worry about not getting along well with my mother-in-law Reason for fear: I will live under the same roof with my parents-in-law. Everyone's living habits are exposed, and friction between them is inevitable. Will my parents tolerate me? Can I have fun in this home? Solution: Be mentally prepared to adapt to your new life. Before getting married, you should think that every aspect of your married life will undergo major changes, not only living with your lover, but also living with your parents, siblings, relatives and friends, and learning to live in harmony with them. Before marriage or even for a period of time after marriage, it is necessary to create conditions to know and get familiar with those who should know, so as not to feel nervous and make mistakes after marriage because many strangers intrude into their lives, thus hurting the feelings of husband and wife. 4. I am worried that I will not be able to complete my housework Reason for fear: I am the only child in the family. Growing up, my parents regarded me as the jewel in their palm. I've never done any housework, at most cleaning up my hut or something. But after marriage, it's different. You have to learn how to cook and do laundry, mop floors and clean rooms. These things alone can take up most of the rest time...I really want to live in the shade of my parents all my life, so that there will be no headaches and housework. Solution: Every woman becomes a housewife. It is a pity that "housewife" is not a word to be proud of in today's China, because the housework that is closely related to it has always been ignored or even despised by society and men. We can't let men experience the tediousness and hard work of housework as in the joke, but the value of housework, like any other job, is tied to the dignity and value of a housewife and cannot be taken lightly. Respect for housework is not only a breakthrough achievement of the new Law on the Protection of Women's Rights and Interests, but also one of the fundamental prerequisites for equality between men and women. 5. Worry about extramarital affairs, fear of divorce Reasons for fear: Now open newspapers and the Internet, everything is cheating and affair. Even lovers who have been in love for many years will have a seven-year itch and a ten-year itch after marriage, which makes people panic. Especially many people who grew up in single-parent families are particularly afraid of marriage and divorce, so they simply do not get married, for fear that marriage will hurt themselves again. Solution: First, this fear comes from the negative "propaganda" of public opinion on marriage life. Some media's analysis of various marriage problems has too much "exposed" the dark side of marriage, making people with "marriage intentions" too much. Feeling an invisible pressure, resulting in excessive anxiety about the "going" of married life, fear of marriage failure; another reason is that one party is not very satisfied with some aspects of the other party, or some shortcomings of the other party are in the marriage It is doubtful whether he can adapt to it later. It is recommended to read more reports on happy marriages, and understand that affairs and derailment are only a small part of marriages. Believe in love and marriage. At the same time, you have to learn more tips to make love warm. As long as you work hard, your marriage will be really beautiful!

(责任编辑:Leisure vacation)

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